mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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