In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
