I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
