God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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