I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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