We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
