I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
