Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
