I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
