We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
