she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
wow bdsm is so cute
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