Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
