As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I got inside last night via doggy door
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
