In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
