I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
