dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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