I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
