Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
