my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
