Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
