I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
