I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
