Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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