We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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