i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Randomize
