he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
