Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
