i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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