worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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