One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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