I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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