I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
not ubering you a puppy
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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