I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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