I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
