if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
