wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have fence marks all over my body
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
