Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
