So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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