Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
