the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
