I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
