i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
