so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
