Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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