I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There's always time for handjobs
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
