Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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