i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
