How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
