I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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