Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
